Friday, January 19
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Old Thorns 5’s 4-2 Old Thorns 4’s (14/10/17) (on penalties) – 4’s report


Well the day finally arrived for the much anticipated Onion derby at the mighty REMPF and with the sun was out for the big occasion the 4’s were right up for it. Some lads started a few days early with the abuse (which was nice to see) before the WhatsApp culling started. Kick off was delayed due to Ed selfishly going into work to save someone’s life so Scotty volunteered to take the GK jersey until Ed turned up.

The game itself was basically a battle all over the field with nothing much between the two sides in my opinion. Some passing and some tasty tackles commenced along with a shit load of long throws happening at both ends by Charlie and the Chud, can’t remember how many there were but it can only be outnumbered by the amount of Barry Lundie Cruyff turns I witnessed (Annoyingly he done me all the time)

The 4’s got the first goal of the game as Sam Laidler ghosted through the 5’s defence onto a pass from Charlie Whight  and placed the ball into the back of the net. Oppo were adamant he was offside, ref was having none of it and pointed to the centre circle, the goal stood 1-0 to the 4’s.
Some more tackles, some passing and then the equaliser came. Not going to lie, I was off the pitch so I’m not sure about the build up. Turned round at the point where an invisible presence seemed to throw Fletcher to the floor and the ball was tapped in the net. 1-1

With both teams going toe to toe the 4s had a spell of pressure in the 5s half and forced a corner which turned out to be lethal because it gave Fish the opportunity to use that trusty left peg. The ball was whipped in with ferocious speed which led to confusion in the box by both teams. Pinball football was in full flow as it bounced off players around back post until one of the 5s players got bored and tap it in for an own goal. 2-1  to the 4’s

Ed turned up around now I think (Cheers Ed)
With the 4’s heading through to the next round the 5’s were throwing everything at it, Literally, every throw was been Chudstered at the goal so some valiant defending was needed, and indeed was been done by all and then the pivotal moment, that one bloody moment in the 93rd minute. The ball came looping into the box, My eyes were on the ball as Paul Kimber knocked me over. I heard a whistle and automatically assumed the ref made the correct decision to award a free kick. Looked up to see that he was pointing at the spot. I was devastated. We’d worked bloody hard for the entire game in the sun and it got taken from us. Was about to have a quite word with the ref but I thought Fish summed it up perfectly for the team. Penalty-scored-encroachment-re take-scored.2-2. 93rd minute!!

Extra time
Into extra time and the 4’s were dealt a further piece of injustice. A long throw into the box again was delicately tap in at the near post but was unbelievably ruled out by the ref assuming that the ball had gone straight in. Tired legs were all over the place. But it didn’t stop the Scottish maestro dancing around the 5’s defenders as Colin Paterson twisted and turned his way into the penalty area and was brought down. Penalty -Up steps Scotty and slots it passed the keeper to the devastation of the 5s players – 3-2 to the  4’s.

Surely that was enough and it was until the improbable happened. Moatey the oppo keeper gambled and come up for a corner in a last ditch attempt to equalise. And he did, somehow falling hitting it with the back of his head looping over to the back post and in the top corner of the goal past as despairing Fish.3-3…. Penalty shootout it was then.
Ended up 4-2 to the 5’s with further Moatey heroics in the penalty lottery.
In conclusion congratulations to the 5’s it was definitely an entertaining game of football and good luck to the boys in the next round.

Match report by Antony Boisson